Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Oh come on, it's not actually that bad! I mean, if we accept from the outset that there's nothing at all original about this apocalyptic "Batman"-style thriller, then we can just get behind our heroes in an half shell and enjoy the ride. Bumpy? Well yes it is. You see, "Shredder" (Tohoru Masamune) and his dastardly "Foot Clan" have taken control of New York City. To make matters worse, "Splinter" has been attacked and he and all but "Raphael" turtle-napped. Now the game is afoot. Rescue them all then with the help of feisty reporter "April" (Megan Fox) and her savvy cameraman "Vern" (Will Arnett) apply their ninja skills and get to grips with the evil that now governs their city. Nothing at all original, no, but there's plenty of action and the odd bit of witty dialogue - usually from "Michaelangelo" - is included as leader "Leo" and the sharpest of the bunch - "Donatello" - have to come up with and execute a cunning plan in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. Of course there's a message for us too. Some gently moralising stuff about inter-reliance, team building, loyalty - and, of course, there are plenty of sagely interventions from their rattish guru. It was entirely logical for Hollywood to capitalise on these global phenomena and to be fair, though it's pretty poor, it's no worse than a great many derivative efforts that the 2010s CGI factories churned out to keep the production lines in full flow. True fans may get something more from this, but for the rest of us - well it's not really up to much at all.