Cutthroat Island

***Fun pirate flick tries too hard to be heroic and panders to youngsters*** In 1668 a female pirate captain (Geena Davis) purchases an educated slave (Matthew Modine) to read a treasure map written in Latin and help her & crew find the priceless lucre on Cutthroat Island. Frank Langella plays her villainous uncle who’s also chasing the hidden loot. “Cutthroat Island” (1995) is a pirate adventure in the spirit of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981); it even has a cute monkey as a side character. It’s a fun adventure with several worthwhile scenes (you can check all the pirate staple boxes) and magnificent locations, but it doesn’t have the movie magic of “Raiders.” For one thing, it tries too hard to be larger-than-life valiant and thus goes over-the-top with the action scenes, like the escape from Port Royal where there’s a sequence of like seven explosions amidst other ridiculous goings-on. This isn’t helped by the blaring score that overdoes the heroic bit to the point of nausea. In other words, the movie annoyingly panders to children and lacks the confidence for a more adult-oriented, reality-based tone. If you want to see a rousing historical adventure like this done right, check out “The Musketeer” (2001). The cast is effective with Langella shining as the nefarious pirate rival while Modine is surprisingly good as a rogue turned hero. People complain about Geena’s performance, saying she was over her head and unconvincing, but she was the director’s wife and happily rose to the challenge, for the most part. Besides, who else could’ve pulled off the role better in 1994 when the film was shot? Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock are the only two that come to mind. Demi Moore might’ve worked, but she lacked the other three’s beaming smile, especially Geena’s big grin. But Geena & Modine needed a better script that made their characters more interesting. As it is, they’re just okay. And, despite my criticisms concerning the unbelievable and juvenile-focused heroics, the movie’s more realistic than any of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” flicks, probably because there’s no magical nonsense. The film runs 2 hour, 3 minutes and was shot in Fort Ricasoli, Kalkara, Malta (Port Royal); Thailand (the island footage); and England (studio). Speaking of Thailand, anyone who knows anything about geography KNOWS the flick wasn’t shot in the Caribbean, but rather Thailand. GRADE: C