Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Brain hurt. Me no likey. Err...umm...ahem. This is a movie that really stretches it as far as believability, logic, or even physics. First, just a quick note: The trailer makes it seem like the movie spends its time on an island about to blow up. Less than half the movie is that. So, if you're looking for a long drawn out volcanic eruption, look elsewhere. The heroes are annoying and dumb caricatures, from the techie who's afraid of everything to the wisecracking animal wrangler (in fairness, this is Chris Pratt's character from the previous film, but still). The villains are short-sighted, moustache-twirling dolts who never seem to remember to watch behind them, especially in dangerous scenarios. And why was Jeff Goldblum even in this movie? He serves no purpose to the story. None at all. He's there for them to say, "See! We have someone from the older movies, so it ties together." That's literally all he's there to do for his two minutes of screen time. It's the same plot as every other Jurassic Park/World film. Let's create/genetically engineer dinosaurs. What could possibly go wrong? Even the supposed "plot twist" could be figured out from the very beginning of the film. Basic physics don't even apply, such as the impossible truck jump at one point. I swear I could feel my brain leaking out of my ears while watching this. This film honestly makes me somewhat relieved that Colin Trevorrow got removed from Star Wars Episode IX. Unfortunately, the way this movie ends basically guarantees that there's going to be another one. Although it begs the question about what happened to Jurassic Park III since it ends in a similar way. Is that film even supposed to be canon anymore? Just don't bother. Even if you love the dinosaur special effects of previous films, there's really not much here that you didn't see before, and some of it is actually pretty bad and unbelievable for a film from 2018. Just don't bother.