Fifty Shades of Grey

Now I never read the book, and the DVD of this has been sitting in a box for years until recently when, discovering it did actually get both an Oscar and a Grammy nomination, I thought I would give it a go. It's all about "Anastasia" (Dakota Johnson) who goes to interview hunky gazillionaire "Christian" (Jamie Dornan) in his plush office. A bit of flirting ensues as he makes it quite clear that he is interested - but boy, is she in for a surprise when she discovers that all belts and braces does actually having another meaning (as does butt-plug!). What now follows is, I felt, a really tame exercise in soft porn that is about as sexy as putting out the wheelie bin. Dornan is very easy on the eye, but otherwise we are all subjected to a dull, ploddingly produced series of poorly lit scenes that drag on interminably. There's no point evaluating the acting nor the script, they don't matter. This is just a poor attempt to entertain or shock or both that does neither, remotely. Titillatingly tantalising? Nah - just dull. Nice helicopter but the song didn't win either award.